Surely each of us knows at least one person who periodically rearranges the furniture to change their mood, energy, or outlook. Feeling stuck? Just reposition the furniture and watch what happens—you can be sure that something in your mood or energy flow is going to shift. Feeling down in the dumps? Notice the uplifting effect of a fresh flower arrangement, candles, or seasonal decorations.

If even minor changes can have such a palpable effect, then it’s easy to imagine how a full-on remodeling project could profoundly shape how we move, interrelate, and feel about ourselves. So it makes sense, long before diving into flooring, cabinetry, countertops, and appliances, to ask yourself what the heck you are really trying to accomplish.

Here’s a story to illustrate the point: A woman once described to me a total remake of her bathroom. She ripped out absolutely everything and poured $60,000 into what turned out to be a classic headache of a project (right down to a plumbing leak that destroyed the dining room ceiling and floor below). Only at the end, exhausted and a little broke, did she snap to the fact that she never really needed to remodel the bath at all. She finally realized that it was her relationships with men that needed the overhaul, and the entire bathroom project was a misconceived effort to do just that.

 

I’ve learned that even though my design clients might insist they know exactly what they want, it’s essential to ask lots of questions so I can really get to the bottom of their intentions. Behind every design idea they describe is an experience they want to generate, a feeling they want to create, or a dream they want to manifest. Once those underlying needs are understood, there’s a good chance we will hit upon the design that best fulfills them.

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